Do you still love your partner but can’t remember how to communicate without having the same arguments again and again?
Does it feel as though the bond between you and your partner has faded?
Do you find that you avoid opening up to your partner because you just don’t feel that he/she hears what you have to say?
Do you feel alone in your relationship or that your partner doesn’t care about you the way he/she used to?
If you answer yes to any of these questions, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples can help you and your partner change negative patterns for good. Relationships often start with an intense connection but over time the spark that initially attracted you to each other can fade or disappear and often you feel the connection to your partner goes with it. EFT offers a way for couples of all ages to learn how to communicate in ways that bring you closer together by helping you understand negative patterns of communicating, allowing each of you to express thoughts and fears in safe and respectful ways and, finally, helping couples to feel more bonded and close again, or perhaps closer than ever before.
People in happy relationships also tend to enjoy better overall physical health and well-being. Research shows that marital satisfaction has been linked to better immune system functioning, recovery from illness and injury, and helps with the management of stressful situations.
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1. Recognize Negative Patterns
In the first stage, the focus is on helping couples to better understand the negative patterns of interacting and communicating that they repeatedly get stuck in. In stage one, key goals include helping couples to:
2. Create New Patterns
In the second stage, the focus is on creating new, more effective, and more emotionally satisfying ways of interacting and communicating together. Key goals include:
3. Clarity and Preparedness
In the third stage, the focus is on building upon the gains that have already been made, and applying them directly to more specific issues within the relationship. Key goals include:
Drawing on cutting-edge research on adult attachment--and providing an innovative roadmap for clinical practice--Susan M. Johnson argues that psychotherapy is most effective when it focuses on the healing power of emotional connection. The primary developer of emotionally focused therapy (EFT) for couples, Johnson now extends her attachment-based approach to individuals and families. The volume shows how EFT aligns perfectly with attachment theory as it provides proven techniques for treating anxiety, depression, and relationship problems. Each modality (individual, couple, and family therapy) is covered in paired chapters that respectively introduce key concepts and present an in-depth case example. Special features include instructive end-of-chapter exercises and reflection questions.
Heralded by the New York Times and Time magazine as the couple therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world.
In Hold me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship-from Recognizing the Demon Dialogue to Revisiting a Rocky Moment-and uses them as touchpoints for seven healing conversations. Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love.
Co-Director - VICEFT
ICEEFT Certified EFT Therapist, Supervisor & Trainer